Logical circles

How I love them

The Truth is told

I cannot tell you what happened when we put in flooring...but I do have a picture.

what we have done

Since we are moving, we have no time to show you interesting things WE have done...
(by the way, we have not done anything interesting anyhow.)
so here are things other people have done. (pictures from Google images.)

Pray that plane doesn't start

Birds like ice cream too!!

Has hunting become a more relaxed sport lately?

What to choose what to choose...

Predictions

I love this scheduled post thingamabob.
I am actually writing this on Sunday.

My guess is that as you are reading this me and my Dad are "trying" to work together.
To be honest this is how it is going:
I am carrying a box of flooring, I trip and drop them all.
Me and my dad have to pick up all the pieces.

Later on: We are putting in flooring.
In this sentience "we" means my Dad, and "Putting in" means Dad going gray and pulling his hair out.

Later on: We learn that Aliens are attacking America on a quest to steal all our flooring. They blow off our roof, leaving me to do ninja-like moves to save the world.

At least that is my guess...

--Inch

Posters

Here are some posters to send you important messages. Read carefully.
*From Google

I wonder...

Have you ever wondered what animals think? I have, in fact I now know what they think:
*From Google Reader





















hope you feel edgamacated

Why I am Homeschooled

I am Home schooled, I think you know that by now.

There is a reason I am home schooled, because of bad influences... Including the mind numbing influences of stupid people. (Why this is underlined I do not know)
yes these are from actual papers*

*Authentication is not certain

How to walk a Tiger

Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a tiger for a walk, you first need a tiger. Tigers fresh from the bush are not recommended for the inexperienced. What you need is one who's used to the procedure. He or she is thus liable to be merely playful, rather than actively irritated. You also need a friend, whom you really, really trust. The friend carries an apple wood cane; apple, or some other wood which will bend under stress rather than shattering. This, friend, is your backup, and the cane is his or her only tool for everything, from knocking stuff out of the way that the tiger is liable to eat, to crowd control, to hooking on and madly hanging on if things go wrong.

What YOU carry is a ten foot length of pass-link chain. This is your leash.

Pass-link chain is the stuff where the links will fit through each other. This is important. You need this so you can hook on a safety clip. The chain is looped about the tiger's neck and acts as a giant choke-chain, but the clip is there to keep a loop of some sort in case things go badly wrong. You carry the chain looped in one hand in a peculiar fashion which permits the whole length of chain to be dragged from your hand without taking your hand and/or arm with it. You practice this beforehand till you're sure you've got it right.

Then you go into the cage with the tiger. Your friend does not. You gauge the tiger's mood and put the leash on the tiger. There isn't a whole lot more to say about this step except to say that that is why your friend is there, OUTside the cage. On your side is the fact that the tiger knows what the leash is for by this time and presumably is largely in favor of the idea.

This is where you find out that tigers are soft and poofy. They are also much, much larger than you had ever dreamed, when you're standing next to one.

Then you take the tiger for a walk. Your friend walks in front with the cane to clear the way. You walk with the tiger at your side, keeping pretty good control and letting the tiger know that you are Paying Attention, because if the tiger thinks you are not Paying Attention, it will do what housecats do, let you know that you should be Paying Attention. Unlike housecats, the tiger is big enough not to have to do anything truly outrageous to rectify the situation. Reaching behind you with one forepaw and sweeping your legs out from under you is generally considered good enough by most tigers. They think this is hilarious. To this extent, tigers differ from housecats in that they seem to have a sense of humor.

It is possible that the tiger will see something that it wants. In this case, the tiger will go where it wants to go, and your job is to stop it. This is generally done by wrapping the chain around something that you pass, as the tiger drags you away. This will slow it down enough for your friend to jump on top of you and grab the chain as you go bulleting across the countryside. The weight of two adult humans will generally slow a tiger down enough to make things manageable, whereas one will not.

It is not usual for the tiger to react to freedom by turning around and turning you into fajitas, though this would actually (at least in the short term) be an eminently practical thing for the tiger to do. They enjoy their fun but are generally not ill-tempered. If they are they don't get taken for walks.

They also purr like a freight train passing. Experts in the field claim that this is not purring, that it means something else, but you couldn't put it by me. Sure sounded like purring, at 16-2/3 RPM, but it sounded like purring. All in all, an experience I highly recommend as a lifetime source of party conversation, but it sort of tends to leave you limp for the rest of the day.

-Inch